Bereavement

Sharing to Make a Shift with Infant Loss

October 30, 2015

Sharing to Make a Shift with Infant Loss

Here in the United States we often have difficulty finding the words to say to someone after the loss of a child, and often we don’t talk about it at all. It is not that way everywhere in the world. For example, in Japan they don’t use words such as “fetus” or “product of a pregnancy,” instead they use the gentle word “Mizuko.” Mizuko means “water child.” In Japan they have a celebration called Mizuko Kuyo; this is a celebration of honor for the babies who have been lost. (Source: Naming the Child by Jenny Schroedel)

CHI Health’s Open Arms Support Group is making changes to the thought of infant loss being taboo. We celebrate the life that is and the life that was. We are making a change in our community to better celebrate one another and to get to know these children who have so quickly left this earth. The best way to start this mindset shift is by sharing.

Here’s one poem about a story of miscarriage.

“Nobody Knew You”  by Jan Cosby

Nobody knew you
“Sorry about the miscarriage dear, but you couldn’t have been very far along.”
…existed.

Nobody knew you
“It’s not as though you lost an actual person.”
…were real

Nobody knew you
“Well it probably wasn’t a viable fetus. It’s all for the best.”
…were perfect.

Nobody knew you
“You can always have another!”
…were unique.

Nobody knew you
“You already have a beautiful child. Be happy!”
…were loved for yourself.

Nobody knew you
…but us

And we will always remember
…You.

I encourage you to share your story in any form: poetry, friendly conversations, song, or  in groups.

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