Bereavement

Sharing Your Infant Loss Story

November 17, 2014

Sharing Your Infant Loss Story

Here in the United States we many times have difficulty finding the words to say to someone after the loss of a child and often we don’t talk about it at all.  It is not that way everywhere in the world.  For example, in Japan they don’t use words such as “fetus” or “product of a pregnancy,” they instead use the gentle word “Mizuko.”  Mizuko means water child.  In Japan, they have a celebration called Mizuko Kuyo.  This is a celebration of honor for the babies who have been lost.

The Open Arms Support Group at CHI Health CUMC – Bergan Mercy, is making changes to the thought of infant loss being taboo.  We celebrate the life that is, the life that was.  We are making a change in our community to better celebrate one another and to get to know these children who have so quickly left this earth. The best way to start this mindset shift is by sharing.   I encourage you to share your story in any form: poetry, friendly conversations, song, or groups.

Nobody Knew You

Nobody knew you
“Sorry about the miscarriage dear, but you couldn’t have been very far along.”
…existed.

Nobody knew you
“It’s not as though you lost an actual person.”
…were real

Nobody knew you
“Well it probably wasn’t a viable fetus.
It’s all for the best.”
…were perfect.

Nobody knew you
“You can always have another!”
…were unique.

Nobody knew you
“You already have a beautiful child. Be happy!”
…were loved for yourself.

Nobody knew you
…but us.

And we will always remember
…You.

By Jan Cosby

Sources: Naming the Child by Jenny Schroedel & Nobody Knew you by Jan Cosby

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