Seeing Myself for the First Time
So, lately people have been making a big deal about how I look different and I tell them, I haven’t noticed anything recently. I got my hair chopped on Tuesday night and my sister wanted to see it, so I did the old take your picture in the mirror thing with my phone. When I look at a picture of myself now and compare it to the hundred of them that I have hanging in my apartment of when I first started the program, I see what everyone else sees.
I have felt the benefits of this (HMR) program for awhile now, I can run up stairs in a hurry without dying, I want to go exercise, I don’t crash at night like I used to. But I can honestly say that today was the first time in a long time that I saw a picture of myself and didn’t want to rip it up and destroy it. I look at myself on the outside and don’t hate me. I just realized today what the eyes see and what the mind perceives. In my mind, I still see the fat girl with the puffy face and lack of motivation to change. After 10 months of hard work, today was the first day I saw a “skinny” girl.
Thank you for all your support to help me get here. I can honestly say without you, I wouldn’t have made it, I need the push, the accountability, and the praises.